I really relate to all that you are saying. I was also in first a completely dysfunctional relationship which, though not narcissistic and abusive like this, I was generally made to feel inferior and completely lacked confidence as a result. Then I was with a narcissist who played similar games. I also found that I regained my power, realised my own self-worth, and started to emotionally connect with others in a way that was unrecognisable for me, through turning my emotions off to him and his games. Thank you for sharing this story. I am looking forward to reading the healing journey.