I very much relate, Ira. I feared becoming like my mother more than I have feared anything in life. And those closest to me know that they can use this to hurt me, should they want to (yes I have had a couple of men in my life who have done so). I have always felt disloyal speaking like this about my mother, until I realised that I needed to be honest with myself and with others.

As for those who have been blessed with mothers they can feel close to, I have felt desperately envious at times, but knew that the best remedy was to strive to be that mother, not the one I had. I think I have done alright with that.