I watched a friend of mine go through the grief of giving birth to a stillborn, and the extent of such pain and grief is still unfathomable to me. I admire your strength and unbreakable love that came through it all.
I was scared to end up having a boy, because I had no idea about boys, not having grown up with any in my family or families close to us. I also imagined them to be hard work - which of course turned out to be soooo wrong! I also had a boy following two girls, and they are all delights in their own special ways. And he's a total darling, of course, because I'm his mum and I would think that :)