If your pets were human, where would they shop?

I sometimes think that owning pets causes us to have a bit of a screw loose in the brain department.

Author’s cat, Blackie.

Especially when we start imagining our pets as humans, and how they would live their lives as such.

Or, perhaps it’s just that I have spent too much time in the company of animals, compared with humans, during the pandemic.

Anyway, whatever the cause, my pets have certainly turned me a little loopy. And I am okay with that, thank you!

Today I started musing over a slightly random thought. If my pets were humans, where would they shop?

If you don’t know much about me, I am, essentially, a country bumpkin. I have barely lived in a town in more than two decades, and love space and greenery more than anything.

In fact, during the pandemic, I practically forgot that towns and cities exist. And I would say that my two cats are fairly similar to me.

Author’s cat, Leela.

My eleven-year-old ginger female, Leela, I imagine being like one of the old ladies who live so rurally that there’s only one bus per week to town and back, on market day. Leela would be there every week, on that bus, without fail. She would arrive at the market and buy some fluffy house-slippers from the shoe stall, and always a traditional Victoria Sponge cake to have with tea when she arrived home.

My ten-year-old tortoiseshell, and Leela’s daughter, Blackie, would prefer to go to the shops in Exeter City Centre. She could choose Plymouth but she has a touch more class than that.

She would be buying herself bath bombs (remember this is theoretical, despite the fact that she actually hates baths) and brightly coloured lipstick. Probably unicorn-coloured.

She would try on a thousand outfits and then settle for a crushed red velvet trouser suit, that would then get ripped as soon as she goes out to play, once home, and in the recycling bin, it would go.

Author’s dog, Ginger.

And then there’s my female dog, Ginger. She only came to us two months ago, and so our lifestyle is new to her. She thinks that the muddy woods and the open countryside are fabulous, but it’s all still so new.

By nature, she is a slender, elegant, and leggy female of model quality, and she likes to think of herself as such. If given the chance, her chosen shopping ground would be Knightsbridge in London, Harrod’s for a nice shawl and a fancy hat, a pair of heels, and lunch at The Ritz.

Now I come to think of it, I think all of my pets are a bit fancier than me and perhaps it’s time I got out of my jeans and tees and put a bit more style into my wardrobe.

I have some style to keep up with, after all.

So, tell me, where would your pets shop if they were humans?

By the way, I don’t offer fashion advice for pets but I do have a tee-shirt line for the self-professed goddess. Check it out at www.goddesscollectivetees.com

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Sally Prag

Sally Prag

Wilfully niche-less, playfully word-weaving. 8 x Top Writer. Writing on mindfulness, life’s lessons, travel, parenting, and more. Not always seriously.