Jocelyn, you may well have read my accounts of not feeling worthy to really call myself a writer, having imposter syndrome, etc. I would say it's part of the process. Some of the best writers on here submit essays full of grammatical mistakes. But their storytelling techniques and ability to communicate in an enticing manner are exceptional. As are yours.

Jackass or not, you've got this and you need to keep going until you recognise it :)