Sara, it sounds to me as if you already know the answer in your heart and you are just waiting for your head and body to catch up. Emotional healing takes time so never push yourself to move too fast. The world will wait for you. But you will know when the right time comes.

Everything you have written is very relatable and beautifully expressed. Just know that you aren't alone on your journey, wherever it takes you. Those wily gods and goddesses will be there looking out for you, and a few angels too!