So, I had a friend who, together with her partner, had decided to explore polyamory. She ended up phoning me regularly, crying and crying down the phone line to me, feeling as if her needs and her voice were being silenced. She too was trying to be "cool" with things but it was really hard. I'd never really looked into the tiny details of polyamory before but I found so many websites that explained how important it is to have very open communication and for both members of a committed partnership to feel like they are being cared for within the situation.

Honestly, it sounds to me as if you aren't being heard or listened to properly. I've read other pieces of yours and I remember thinking this. And, honestly, what is the sense in being in a relationship that has you constantly questioning yourself and feeling insecure or upset? Relationships shouldn't be like that. You deserve to be happy and you need to make sure that your happiness is being nurtured in the relationship, first and foremost. You don't need to make allowances if it's compromising you or your happiness.

Sorry for the rant, and perhaps you feel I have spoken out of turn, but I just had to air that.